While the rest of the world seems to be doubling down on tik tok while quietly bashing instagram, I decided to quit Instagram and avoid social media altogether.
I started my instagram account 3+ years ago as a way to document the creation of my business from start to finish (and well, that business is truly finished). I had a profound desire to share a different side of the story and to help other women lean into their own aspirations. I set out to connect the dots between life and work and motherhood and it was my sincere hope that my business could be part of the solution for women who felt torn between pursuing their best lives while in the midst of motherhood.
I never could’ve imagine the ups and downs I would experience both in real life and in those tiny squares, but I continued to show up and document the journey in hopes that someone somewhere felt less alone. In sharing my story I hoped that I could give other women permission to pursue the life they envisioned for themselves, not in spite of but because of their kids.
A year ago I made the truly heartbreaking decision to close my business and let go of the dream after fighting as hard as I could. While this past year has been one of the most challenging years of my life, it was also full of profound growth. Over the summer I recognized a deep desire to take a break from social media and what started out as a 10 week summer hiatus from instagram quickly became a lifeline I didn’t know I needed.
During that time something changed, well lots of things changed. As the weeks flew by, I found myself deeply connected to my real life. The less I focused on the screen in my hand, the more I focused on the moments right in front of me. The less time I spent chatting via DM, the more time I spent phoning and texting and visiting with friends. The more time I spent offline, the less I cared about those tiny squares and reluctantly returning felt like a punch to the gut and a video induced attack. As I prioritized my real life over all else, I realized the ‘else’ truly didn’t matter.
My time away solidified my conclusion that Instagram is a distractional and transactional mess, one that I no longer wanted to be a part of. I will continue to write and create and consult, but I have decided to be done with likes and algorithms. I signed off to enjoy the freedom and joy that exists on the other side of our phones.
While my detour from social media very much means starting over, I found that the energy drain from creating an ‘online life’ was a far greater cost than any business I receive.
Consider this your permission slip to reevaluate all the things and choose for yourself what truly matters.
10 Reasons why I decided to quit instagram:
I hate likes and algorithms, I also hate reels.
The less I focus on the screen in my hand, the more I focus on the moments right in front of me.
No amount of ‘reels’ will make our online lives feel ‘real.’ They actually do the opposite.
Despite my best attempts of unfriending irrelevant accounts, I still found my feed full of useless and often loud and distracting video content.
The more time I spent on instagram the more distracted I became from my actual aka REAL life.
I rarely, if ever, saw the accounts I actually set out to follow and instead found myself ‘experiencing’ Instagrams curated point of view.
Logging off allowed me to reconnect to myself and my real life friends in a more meaningful way free of likes and algorithms.
It feels like the only way to grow a service based business on instagram is to quite literally ‘sell yourself’ and I have zero interest in being ‘an influencer.’
When Sheryl Sandberg quit, it felt like the only adult in the room officially left the conversation.
I am over it.
What's next for me:
Writing: While I truly never considered myself a writer, sharing my story and connecting with so many others through my words was absolutely the silver lining these past few years.
I am in the process of creating a weekly newsletter right here on Substack to continue to share and connect and hopefully break down some of the barriers and road-blocks women face when trying to tackle life and work in the midst of motherhood.
I have always believed we find ourselves in others, my goal is to help you reconnect and rediscover parts of yourself outside of social media. Self-ish exists to support, inspire, and empower women through shared stories, inspiring interviews, and honest conversations.
Here you will find words designed to help you feel seen, heard, and supported. I hope that you find this space and these words inspiring, informative, and deeply human.
Thank you for being here!
This article written by Holly Whitaker solidified my desire to say good-bye to Instagram for good ✌️ It's definitely worth a read if you are feeling any of the same.