#36: Vision
#36: Vision
The clearer the vision, the closer you are to finding it.
I believe in having and holding a clear vision of yourself and of your life at all times. Long before I found the courage to reinvent myself and launch my first business in the midst of motherhood, I imagined a completely different version of myself and held that vision close while searching for ways to bring it to life.
I knew, deep down, that staying home wasn’t working for me even though it was working for my family and I went in search of other mothers who had reinvented themselves with young kids in tow. I was specifically interested in women who had built businesses because I did not want to return to my 9-5 job and craved a certain type of flexibility that would allow me to set my own schedule and dictate my own hours. I knew I wanted to be available for my kids while simultaneously building something for myself and the women I met who were already on that path solidified the vision for me and ultimately gave me permission to do the same.
I knew that staying home wasn’t working for me even though it was working for my family.
I became determined to dig myself out of staying home to prove to myself and to others that it could be done. I knew that I wanted to launch a business of my own, but I needed a vision that could help me connect the dots between where I was (staying home) and where I wanted to be (a business owner). With time my vision grew, I envisioned myself as a mother who was deeply connected to her kids and to her work, I knew that my schedule had to be flexible and that I needed to make space for my kids to tag along if needed, I knew that I wanted to inspire other mothers to pursue work and to prove to them that it was possible with the right support.
All of these ideas added up and I eventually landed on a vision for the space I would ultimately go on and build. I could see myself sitting at the front desk and I could see the women who would be working side by side, I could see the children who would be playing nearby, and I could see my own kids accompanying me to work when schools were closed. I committed to myself and to this vision for years, and I could see the walls and the tables and the chairs and the toys. I could see the community forming and the support these women received for their careers and for their kids. I knew exactly what it would look like years before it was actually built and without that crystal clear vision I never would’ve found the strength to bring it to life.
While things most certainly did not go as planned, enter the pandemic and over a year of forced business closures, I was able to hold on to my vision and therefore my business for a considerable amount of time before eventually releasing it for something else entirely. My story is proof that your vision may or may not unfold perfectly, but without that vision I never would’ve brought my dream to life, I never would’ve experienced the joy of knowing my work mattered, I never would’ve found the strength to pick myself up and try again.
For many of us, the pandemic was (and still) is a reckoning of sorts, an opportunity to right size our lives, to truly ask ourselves what we want and what we need. I no longer envision myself in the same spirit I once did and I most certainly do not envision the lease I once held or the walls I once built. These past few years have forced me to change and grow and evolve in ways I never could’ve imagined and with it came a deeper understanding and an even deeper vision for myself.
For many of us, the pandemic was (and still) is a reckoning of sorts, an opportunity to right size our lives, to truly ask ourselves what we want and what we need.
While I once built a brick and mortar space that required my physical presence, I now envision work that can happen from the comfort of my own home and on my own time. I personally love dropping my kids off at school and being available for sports in the afternoon so I have held on to the parts of my vision that included being available for them and I therefore require work that allows me to set my own hours.
I believe that holding a crystal clear vision for yourself and for your life is the first step toward actually achieving it. While building my first business, I woke up every single day ecstatic to tackle the next step in my journey, to get one step closer to the vision I held so clearly in my hand. As the pandemic continued to derail my own dream, I saw, first hand, how lacking a clear vision ultimately led to the closure of my first business and forced me on a different path entirely. The flip side of having a clear vision is uncertainty and I have learned time and time again, that if you don’t know where you are going, you will end up somewhere else.
If you don’t know where you are going, you will end up somewhere else.
For me, having a clear vision is about so much more than loosely holding an idea of yourself as an entrepreneur or a writer or a coach or a CEO. It is about defining yourself while working to bring that exact definition to life. It is about getting clear about who you want to be, the direction you are headed, and the specifics that will ultimately help you connect the dots between here and there. It is about the clothes you wear, the people you surround yourself with, the way you spend your days, and most importantly it is about how you want to feel. It is about bringing your daydreams to life through daily visions about what it would actually be like to live your dream life, but in order to define that for yourself you must identify what your dream life actually looks like.
I am a firm believer that we all have a clear vision locked somewhere inside of us. Chances are that your particular vision is being blocked after years of ignoring your own inner light, or saying yes when you actually mean no, or you are simply too busy to let that inner vision through. If you are, one of the select few who can clearly see that vision, chances are it feels much too big to actually achieve and you are therefore blocking it with your own uncertainty.
Gaining clarity around your vision works best if you quiet the outside noise and tap into your true self. It starts with asking yourself some tough questions like are you happy living the life that is right in front of you? Do you wake up excited every single day or are you simply making the most of your good enough life? If you could change one thing about the life you are currently living, what would it be? Would you live in the same house, the same city, the same state? Would you have the same job or build something of your very own? Would you make more money or have more time for things you truly enjoy? Would you add another kid to the mix, or maybe two? Would you quit your job and travel the world? What is the thing that has been silently tugging at you but you find yourself repeatedly trying to ignore?
Once you begin to ask yourself these questions and get brutally honest with yourself about the answers, you will likely start to see the vision form. Once you land on a vision, you will likely begin to see countless examples of the exact type of business you want to create, the exact person you might want to be. Do not let these examples deter you, the internet is full of endless inspiration but it also offers us a false reality, a glorified pretty picture that somehow feels incredibly out of reach.
If you dream of writing a book, then every single time you see another women who publishes her book you can choose to let it trigger you or to serve as a reminder that you are in fact on the right path. If you dream of starting your own 6-figure business, then every single time you see another women hit that goal you can choose to feel shitty inside or use her success as your guide. Dreams don’t happen overnight, but having and holding a clear vision is the first step toward achieving them, it is the first step in right sizing and aligning your own life. You get what you focus on, so focus on what you want!
Being a mother requires being honest with ourselves about which needs can be met through motherhood and which needs must be met through the continued development of self. I meet women where they are and guide them toward where they ultimately want to be, illuminating possibilities along the way.
If you are looking for additional support in connecting the dots between where you are and where you ultimately want to be I encourage you to become a paid subscriber of my Substack, I will be sending my paid subscribers a bonus essay later this week all about taking action and how small steps truly add up plus my own personal visioning meditation.
Need more? You can book a one on one 45 minute strategy session with me, to get clear on what you need to push yourself and your life forward. I would’ve given anything to have someone to talk to while making the heartbreaking decision to leave my corporate career behind to be more available for my kids. Similarly I really could’ve used someone to bounce ideas off of while brainstorming ways to keep my business afloat through the pandemic. Sometimes it takes a friendly nudge in the right direction to truly find the right path. You can learn more here.